Yesterday, Supermom, DP, and I were in my truck heading to pick Jr and Lu up from gymnastics. Since it is Christmas break and the kids are home from school, I asked SuperMom what she and the kids might do today. Since she didn't want DP to know, she whispered it to me. DP's ears are stopped up due to allergies, so I am sure he didn't hear her. But I didn't understand her either. Thus, I asked her to repeat it, which she did. To no avail. I asked again and once again she whispered it to me. I didn't understand her again. I replied, I must not be hearing you right, because all three times it sounded like you said dinosaur and I know that isn't correct. To this, SuperMom burst out laughing. I am at a loss for why. She then says that is exactly what I said. Now I am more confused than ever, because I don't remember seeing any dinosaurs walking around while I was driving to work. Then she said, don't you remember us talking about the movie I might take them to? I guess we discussed them seeing The Good Dinosaur. Who knew? I didn't, and thus thought I was going deaf. I hope the movie makes her laugh as much as my statement. We never had to whisper before we had these subjects.
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Yesterday morning, the family headed north to have lunch with my in-laws. It is a three hour drive and the kids often are watching a movie. Since it is a lengthy trip, the kids usually finish a movie and then will take a break and listen to the radio as we are. After the movie while DP was listening to the radio, the song T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever) by Will.I.Am featuring Mick Jagger and Jennifer Lopez came on the radio. I have never heard this song. Apparently, I am the only one in the car that hadn't. I have linked the clean version with words below. However, the version on the radio was not the clean version. So every time a particular part of the chorus would come on, SuperMom would crank down the song, this is how much they wanted to hear this song. I listened to this song and wasn't impressed. However, the part that had me laughing was at the beginning when it started playing. DP says to himself, "Oh this is my jam!". Apparently, he is either going hard or he is going home. I'll remind him of "his jam" when football season starts back. So , last night the family decorated the Christmas tree. The tree had been up for a couple of days, but we hadn't put the ornaments on it yet. Jr asked all through dinner, can we decorate the tree now?; how about now?; Dad are you done eating?, etc. Finally, after finishing dinner, we began the task of decorating the tree. Within two minutes, an ornament was down. I got the broom and the dust pan and started sweeping up the glass pieces. While doing this, ornament two hit the ground. I just relocated and started sweeping some more. Then the vacuum was retrieved and the remaining glass was cleaned up. During this time, the three subjects are putting ornaments on the tree. Prior to starting, I had placed a small three step ladder near the tree. While I was sweeping they were climbing the ladder and putting up ornaments. Never mind the fact that the lower limbs were bare, they had to climb the ladder and put ornaments where the ladder ended. During this time, Jr is making some odd repetitive horn sound non stop. Lu is singing every song she can think of (none of them are Christmas songs by the way) while asking the question "Do you even _____?". You fill in the blank. Apparently, this is the slogan kids in seventh grade are saying. One example is "Do you even lift?" Of course, Lu applied this questions to everything all night in between her singing. Now SuperMom and I are trying to relocate ornaments to even out the tree. Finally, I need to get the big ladder. Nothing good ever happens when I get the big ladder. Now the kids are fighting over whose turn it is to climb the ladder and place the ornaments. Again, they totally ignore the lower areas and place them at the exact location the ladder stops. That is how the top would look if we didn't rearrange. So I started wondering if it was the decorating they wanted to do, or just climb the ladder. Oh well, we are done but I keep hearing this constant beeping sound like some truck is backing up in my head, and can't stop asking my co-workers "Do you even work?"; "Do you even lunch?". Hopefully, they understand. Tis the season. PS. I had to give DP more money this morning because the librarian loaned him $3 to finish buying the books he wanted. Since we moved to Florida my kids have gone to Public School instead of Private School. I must point out it is called Public school, not Free school, because theses schools are pulling money out of my wallet almost as fast as I put it in there. This week is field trip, secret Santa shopper or something like that, and book sale. I know these are optional expenses, but they hype it up so much with the kids that you look like a jerk if you don't give in. So after paying $20 for a field trip what we actually have an annual pass to, so in theory it should be free, and after giving $40 for some Santa shopping the kids want to do, DP wants to get some books from the book sale. SuperMom told DP to look at the list of books for sale and pick some. Last night after dinner, DP gave SuperMom the list. The grand total of the books he wants? $94! Now I understand he likes to read, but $94 for some books that I can get for half the price on-line. We had to start narrowing the list. DP says, "you can take that one off and that one off". Now down to $72. Once again we do a slimming of the list. Down to $59. One more time through and we are down to $40, so I give in and just drop two twenties on the counter and call it good. I sure hope the kids understand the business school lessons their elementary school is trying to teach them. I also hope some of you start clicking on the ads on this page, so I can afford Public School. So as stated, we eat dinner together most nights. The other night, we had finished dinner and the two boys had left the table to do what they do. SuperMom, Lu and I were still at the table. This is a time where we have few minutes for SuperMom and I to talk about different things prior to cleaning the table. Lu likes to stay because she likes to hear our conversation. We often encourage her to go shower or whatever so we can talk, mainly about the three subjects and the issues of the day. Trust me, with three of them there is always issues of the day. However, this instance was slightly different. Lu stayed and we talked. But SuperMom noticed our oldest dog. Now this dog is 700 years old in dog years, only 18 or 19 in human years. So I must point out that she has been around longer than SuperMom and I have been married. Needless to say, she is not as active or mentally aware as she used to be and walks with a slight tip-toe approach. Therefore, she does some odd things throughout the day. This particular time was one of them. Our kitchen has two entrances and one is close to the table. So she started walking around the kitchen going into the den and back through the other entrance and back into the den. Basically a counter clockwise circle. After the third time, we couldn't help but pay attention. I started making comments, "Around the final curve, down the stretch she comes". Lu also starting making comments and watching this. After about 20 laps, we finally got up, but Lu could not stop laughing and commenting on her behavior. I guess your life is officially boring when you watch a dog circle the kitchen 20 or so times and laugh as she does it. The best part was at one point of the circle, she is out of our view, so we anxiously wait for her to make the turn so we can see her again. So most of you may know that our family eats dinner together every night. During this time, we turn off the TV and try to enjoy each other's company. That isn't always an easy task with a 11 year old, an 8 year old, and a 7 year old who like different types of food. Someone always doesn't like what was cooked or bought from the local restaurant. However, recently a new ritual was introduced to dinner and for the life of me I do not know who introduced it or why it was introduced. The new thing is to have a dumbest joke contest while at dinner. I must point out that these test subjects excel at this game. Their jokes are the dumbest things you have ever heard. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "To get away from Chic -Fil-A." type of jokes. "Why did Adele cross the road?" "So she can say Hello from the Other Side." They are just plane terrible jokes. However, the worst part is after they tell these jokes, they make this horrible face, tilt their head back, and make a horrible sound. The sound is something like UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH. Then they laugh. Even worse, they want me to tell them who wins. Hell, I don't know who wins. Some of the jokes don't even have punch lines or make sense. Even if I told them who won, it would like being declared the prettiest person in Walmart. Oh well, this too will pass, I hope. UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH. So my mother is the one in our family that wants to know what the kids want for Christmas at least 3 months before the date. I am not sure why, but she starts asking what they want in October. After stalling for weeks, eventually we try to answer the question. Last night was such a night. So while sitting at dinner, I asked Jr to tell me three things he wanted Nana to get him for Christmas. Without skipping a beat, he starts explaining what he really wants. He says, "I want one of the those things that you walk through and there is another one some distance away that you end up at." I asked, do you just show up there? He replies "yes, and I would like a control so I can get back". So DP, says "he wants a portal". And Jr smiles and agrees with him. Now I also think a portal would be nice. It would be like being beamed to the planet as done in Star Trek. However, I do not think Nana is the person to make this happen. See to this day, I know she still doesn't understand what I do for a living. Therefore, it is difficult for me to believe that she has a good enough grasp on quantum physics and particle physics to start addressing this issue. Additionally, you have to be able to at least navigate Facebook to fully understand the computational requirements to store the data needs required to reassemble a person the size of Jr. We explain to Jr, that this is not a real device and ask him to give us another idea. Jr then lets us know he wants an electric scooter that he can ride. I reply that isn't possible, which I believe he took it as me saying that they don't have them. He responds "They do have them and they go real fast and I can ride on it." So I clarified my response and said "you are not getting one". So, we have moved from the impossible to the "not going to happen for my 6 year old" gifts. Thus SuperMom asks if he saw anything else at a store that he might want. He says, I would like one of the Thomas the Trains. Now I think we have made progress and that Nana will be able to find this. But we underestimated Jr. He then says, "but instead of the regular one, I want one that has been made to go extremely fast. Much faster than the regular one." A lump of coal is on the way for him I guess and Nana wonders why it takes us weeks to give her an answer to this simple questions. So DP turned eight years old the other day. We had the usual celebration that you have when celebrating a kid's birthday. A lot of friends over with good food and great gifts. His party was before his actual birthday, so SuperMom waited until his actual birthday before she worked with him to send out thank you cards. They sat down, she reminded him of the gift the card recipient-to-be gave him, asked him what he wanted to say, and then proceeded to write exactly what he wanted. After that DP would sign the card and we mailed them. This guaranteed that the writing was legible but still had DP's personal touch. Several people gave DP money. So on the first card that was being sent to a person who gifted him money, SuperMom asked him what did he want to say. DP being DP and only eight had the following message for the person. "Thank you for the money. I am now rich but don't have anything to spend the money on." I am confused on what his definition of rich is and why he can't think of something to spend the money on. Oh to be eight and rich again. So lately, I have only been writing about DP and Jr. There is a good reason for this. See Lu is almost 12. The preteen years are killing me. She has these personality changes without warning. I try to overlook these, but she is at the age that she doesn't like us any more. I am assuming this because she rarely interacts with us and is often unhappy with our interactions. Then all of a sudden everything is great. I can't figure it out and have not been able to develop a formula that takes age, sex, time of day, amount of homework, how tired she is, and what her best friend is doing into account to predict her mood. Oh well, she is still great. Now to our story of the day. I was riding in the car with DP coming back form football practice. I have satellite radio and often change back and forth between stations. I like the 80's, 90's, country, and today's music. DP loves to sing songs. Apparently, he gets this honest, because I really do as well. Unfortunately for people within earshot of the car, only Lu, who also likes to sing every song, has a voice worth hearing. So a song comes on that I do not know. DP is singing away. I ask him "do you know this song?". To which he replies "nope, I have never heard it before". He then proceeds to say "Dad I have a gift". "You do?", I asked with great interest in what is this magically gift he was referring to. Was it his amazing ability to read anything? His linear learning ability? His great math skills? In his mind was he the best defensive end since Reggie White? Nope, his magical ability is to know what words are coming next in a song even if he has never heard it before. I am not sure how true this is, because he did seem to know the song. Now if he can tell me which lottery numbers are being picked this Saturday, I would agree he has a gift. Here are some more gifted people with their lyrics. Jr. has become more and more vocal with real conversations lately. Prior to this year, he was happy just randomly making noise continuously without much substance. He still often just makes noise, but the amount of substance has increased and his conversations are often funny. I am confident that he wants to be a stand up comedian when he grows up, he just doesn't know it yet. This is concerning to me however. I already have Lu who wants to be an actress/singer and DP who wants to be a medical doctor/football player. Along with Jr working as a stand-up comedian trying to make it big, I will forever be working to support them. But I digress, back to our conversation. On Saturday, I was watching something on TV and must have thought it was funny because I laughed. Jr. says "you don't laugh that loud, Dad". I concurred and asked what he thought of that. He said that "Mom laughs loud and he laughs like a supervillain". Now this made me laugh and I asked him to show me. He then proceeded to give me the most evil supervillain laugh of all time. Some examples that are close to him are below. Try to imagine little Jr doing these. |
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April 2018
CategoriesAuthorPracticing medical physicist trying to raise three kids in the south. |