At the end of the trip to Target, DP needed to go to the bathroom. He asked SuperMom "Can we go home now? I need to use the potty." SuperMom asked "Can't you use the bathroom here?" DP replied, "No. They don't have soft toilet paper like at home. They have school toilet paper. It is stiff." It had a valid point. Now when I was growing up, we called that John Wayne toilet paper. Rough and tough and didn't take crap off of anyone. The adventures continue.
So the other day, DP had a dentist appointment and SuperMom took him. After the dentist appointment, DP went shopping with SuperMom. While shopping, DP asks SuperMom if we are going to "make love" on Valentine's Day. Once SuperMom picked her jaw off the floor, she asked him why he asked this. DP replied, "68% of couples make love on Valentine's Day. You and Dad are a couple, right?" Now apparently, DP read this somewhere. Where who knows. He can read anything and probably saw it on a magazine cover. If that was all of his thoughts for the day, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. However, that is not the case. Some time later, DP points out that SuperMom is short for her age. I do realize that she isn't on the tall side, but "short for her age". That is a odd way to phrase that comment. It continues. For people who know SuperMom, you know that that she has been wearing her hair straight for a pretty long time now although her hair is naturally curly. For the past week, she has gone back to wearing it curly. So DP says, "I really like your new hair". SuperMom replies, "it is the same hair, just curly". DP counters with "No it is different and I like it better". At the end of the trip to Target, DP needed to go to the bathroom. He asked SuperMom "Can we go home now? I need to use the potty." SuperMom asked "Can't you use the bathroom here?" DP replied, "No. They don't have soft toilet paper like at home. They have school toilet paper. It is stiff." It had a valid point. Now when I was growing up, we called that John Wayne toilet paper. Rough and tough and didn't take crap off of anyone. The adventures continue.
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So yesterday while driving to gymnastics class for our three subjects, Lu started tell us about a survey that she completed in her Social Studies class. She was shocked that they didn't ask her name but asked her age, sex, and what grade she was in. Apparently she doesn't really understand the statistics aspect of surveys. Another person that doesn't understand surveys is DP. So some of the questions on the survey dealt with driving and drinking, drugs, and weapons. Lu gave the normal answers for a sixth grade girl (hopefully normal answers that is), She has never been in a car with someone drinking. She has never done any drugs. However, she did answer that she has handled a weapon because she has fired a BB gun. Thanks Papi. Now DP decided to weigh in on this and apparently it was on his mind because he continued to discuss it this morning. He stated that he has been in the car with someone drinking because I often drive with a drink in my car. I must point out the drink is diet Coke. He also said that both me and SuperMom do drugs every day. See, we both take allergy medicine and vitamins. Finally, he stated that he has handled many different types of weapons: knives, guns, scissors, rocks, you name it. Knives are at dinner, BB gun with Papi, scissors while cutting something, rocks in the yard. Now I am hoping that the survey has additional words that Lu decided to leave out to shorten her story like "alcohol" as used in "riding with someone drinking alcohol", or "illegal" in "illegal drugs". First I am shocked that Lu left out a detail in her story. She normally tells us things I have no impact in the story, like John's shirt was red when we are talking about John playing baseball. It is also amazing that DP has never let something pass, thus in five years I see the police at my door saying "PhysicsDad, you got some 'splaining to do" as Ricky would say to Lucy. I am just glad that I am good with numbers so it will be easy for me to remember my prison ID. However, I hope with every fiber of my being that I won't have to use my prison purse. With DP starting baseball today, I figured I would discuss some things that we have been experiencing due to the subjects' activities. These subjects stink. For example, DP likes to wear tennis shoes. However, he does not like to wear socks. This is a recipe for disaster. I took a road trip with him and as we were driving, he took off his shoes. My God, I almost passed out. I made him hang his feet out the window for a few miles. It was terrible. So when we got home, SuperMom washed these shoes. That didn't help. In fact, it made things worse. His feet just stunk but he wouldn't wear any other shoes at the time. SuperMom bought him some more shoes to replace these that we are throwing away. Usually, we pass shoes down to Jr., but not these. I would rather pay the $50 for a new pair than breathe that odor again. Later we were heading to choir practice, and again there was a smell in the car. Now all five of us were in the vehicle, so I start trying to figure out the issue. DP has new shoes, so I don't immediately think it is him. However, when I ask around, Lu replies firmly that it is DP's feet. I am now requiring him to wear socks with all tennis shoes, no matter if he likes it or not. One day we were on the way to or from gymnastics; again all five of us. DP says "What is that smell?". "It smells like a tootsie roll." To this SuperMom makes a funny and says "I tooted". Young kids always think toots are funny to talk about. So they are laughing and she says. "Get it, a tootsie roll". Now they laugh more. Of course, the literal one, DP, pauses and then laughs. He then repeats it word for word, "I tooted. Get it, a tootsie roll", and laughs his goofy laugh. Again me and SuperMom laugh, now at him. There isn't a day that goes by that one of them smells terrible. Then they look at us like we are from Mars, when we tell them to take a shower. I can't wait until they all become teenagers so I can have permanent nerve damage to my olfactory region. |
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April 2018
CategoriesAuthorPracticing medical physicist trying to raise three kids in the south. |